A Man’s Best Friend is…..

Who is  man’s best friend?  What are men looking for from their best friend?  It could be many things but perhaps a mix of love, loyalty, respect, assurance, obedience, pleasure and presence. It has been said that a dog is man’s best friend, maybe because of their sense of loyalty, unquestioning obedience, companionship, a source [...] Read more »

The Teenager, his Penis and Emotional Development

For many teenagers the penis is used in harmless play such as in pissing games, like seeking to squirt their urine the highest on a wall or tree. Other boys will attempt to  draw  pictures  on the earth outside, melt snow or  leave their mark in some way! Even as a middle aged man, I can still [...] Read more »

The Boy, his Penis and Emotional Development

Within  the world of emotional development I have begun to  wonder if  the penis  has  became central to the male infants  emotional terrain?  Physically the penis is located in a central  external position and is difficult to ignore and ideal to handle, hold on to and fiddle with. Biologically and sexually  it has a central function and [...] Read more »

What a crying shame….

In a relatively recent book  by Brene Brown ‘I thought it was just me but it isn’t’ she explores shame and vulnerability. Her research is  related to women and  very insightful. At a conference she was approached  by a man who said , “ we have shame, deep shame, but when we reach out and share our stories, [...] Read more »

Ten responses to the phrase – Man Up!

An excellent piece of slam poetry from Guante on how the REAL man concept is so unhelpful and shaming to men.  This is what I’m talking about. Please listen – transcipt is printed below http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ayzwzGB2kXw http://www.guante.info/ TEN RESPONSES TO THE PHRASE “MAN UP.” 1. f*** you. 2. If you want to question my masculinity, like a schoolyard [...] Read more »

Take the REAL man test?

Below are 30 indicators that will reveal your REAL man status – how REAL are you? Siring children / sowing your seed… More children  = more man Be hard – build a big strong body,  be tough, rigid and impenetrable Sexual  conquests (find them, feel them, f*** them, forget them) Be popular – Make loads of mates never be a [...] Read more »

Man or Mouse?

Below are some of the  phrases used to shame men and their masculinity - Are you man enough?                                                          What are you – man or mouse? What sort of man are you?                                                Call yourself a man? You’re not a real man!                                                        Man-up! Grow some balls?                                                                 What a pathetic excuse for a man Stop being a girl – and any other [...] Read more »

Being a ‘Real’ man is bad for your health

Catherine Bennett  recently wrote an  article in the Observer  entitled ‘It’s time we ditched this bogus notion of real manhood.  In this article she refers to the results from a recently published report from the Samaritans entitled “Men, Suicide and Society” which suggests that societies expectations of men leads to high levels of depression, lack [...] Read more »

The Emotional World of Sport 2 – Shame Game

They call football the ‘beautiful game’ but I want to explore if along with other team sports it induces a sense of shame in  men.   Sport is often  closely linked with masculine identity and the male code of ‘Winning is all there is’. ‘Real’ men play sport,  and  need to be winners,  the tougher and more brutal [...] Read more »